This is a tough subject to approach, but the question here is how many times do we all look at long term friendships and wonder why we are still in them? Is it nostalgia, comfort with the known, or just a fear of being alone?
The truth is that friendships are also relationships, and sometimes one has to stop and look closely at what a friendship with someone else is bringing into our life. Many times, as we move forward in life; grow, change, expand, and evolve, we find that others around us are no longer in sync with who we are today.
All relationships, romantic, family, and friendships, are learning lessons. They are experiences that we need to have. These people are all our teachers on the path of life that we are taking. But what happens when one is no longer serving our highest good and perhaps even impeding on our growth towards our best good?
It is just as necessary to clean out the closet of friends we carry with us our journey as it is to clean out our closets in the spring. The more space you make in the closet, the more room there is for new possibilities and new friends that are moving in the same direction as we are. The key here, is to gently and kindly let go of the old ones that no longer resonate, with love and compassion for their own journeys.
According to a very wise teacher and mentor of mine, Joseph Aldo, and his amazing spiritual growth techniques:
“When you engage in relationships that are not empowering and support the brilliance that you are, projecting on others your negative mental and emotional states, you create these cords of disempowerment that extend from your being (chakras and energy field) to others. These cords are limiting and weakening, perpetuating a life of dis-ease – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The Cutting Cords Meditation supports the letting go of old ties and disempowering relationships. It allows you to “call your power back” and release the other from your projections. In this meditation you take full responsibility for all that has occurred in the relationship and honor the person for being a part of the experience, a catalyst but not the cause.” —www.josephaldo.com
As I have done extensive work with another mentor of mine, Robert Wolinsky, who is an expert in the process of cord cutting and spiritual growth with his clients, I realized that I was running a similar pattern with various people in my life, old friends, romantic relationships, even family members. As I continued down the journey with Robert, it became so clear as I released old patterns of dysfunction and disempowerment, that several relationships began to disintegrate rapidly as I saw these patterns replayed over and over again in my life. Letting go of those people, and wishing them well on their way, has been such an opportunity for me to step forward and continue on my chosen path without those old burdens.
I really encourage everyone to take stock, do some evaluation, consider thoughtfully who you welcome into your life and who you continue to share it with. Remember a handful of true, honest, friends that partake in our lives and put equal amounts of love and effort into, are worth more than a facebook page filled with hundreds of “friends” that aren’t really there for you.